Once we got back to the classroom, I took my regular seat at the back, Alden sitting on my left and Craven on my right. Link and Fickle sat in front of us. Ms. Carol was nowhere to be found, as per usual. Our other classmates were talking in groups around the room, most staying far away from us. After the incident with Alden’s book, I truly wasn’t surprised. Regular people didn’t associate with rebels. Once, I hadn’t either. Now here I was, trying to join their cause. It was a wonder how quickly things could change.

Alden clicked his tongue softly. “So, Brash, are you very close with your parents?” 

My fingers, which had retreated into my pocket, clenched around the hamburger. This was where he was going to dig into me and get all the information he could about my parents! If he got too much information, would he deem me not worth the trouble and refuse to let me join them? I’d just have to keep my mouth shut.

“I, uh, maybe?”

I wasn’t really sure if we were close or not. I’d never really thought about it. Our relationship was just what it was. I never looked into it. 

“Maybe? What do you mean by ‘maybe’?”

“Well, I’m not sure if I am close to them or not. I guess it depends on what you consider close.”

“Do you guys hang out often?”

“Sometimes, my mom will have dinner with me over the headset for an hour or so.”

“Do they get you nice things?”

“My mom basically buys me anything that I want. I don’t think there’s ever been a time she’s told me no.”

“Have they ever taken you outside the house before? To play games or go somewhere fun?”

“Um…” I didn’t have a single memory of being outside the house until just this year. “No, they’ve never done that. I played through the headset up until this year.” My mouth was running quicker than I could control it. Answers kept tumbling out before I could think, desperate for someone to hear them,

“Do they ever ask you what you want with your life?”

“Why would they do that? I’ve known since the day I was born that I would take over their company. It’s what I was born for.”

“Is that what you want?”

Huh?

I stared at him.

He stared back.

“It’s a simple question, Brash. Is that what you want?”

My system was short-circuiting. 

“What…What I want?” The sentence was foreign. 

“Yes, is that what you want your life to be? Do you want to take over their company?”

“I…I don’t know.” Once again, it was another thing I’d never thought about. What I’d said before was true: from the day I was born, I knew I was going to be running it someday. I never thought it mattered if I wanted it or not. It was my destiny, and so I accepted it. “I don’t think it really matters if I want it or not.”

“Of course it does. If you don’t want it, you shouldn’t chase after it. Do you not want it?”

Panic was beginning to bubble in my stomach, but I wasn’t sure why. Was it because I was given a choice I’d never even considered before? Was it because there was so much more freedom out there than I’d ever thought imaginable? I didn’t know, but my hands were beginning to tremble in my pockets.

Alden, who must’ve seen the shock on my face, quickly changed the topic. “How about your father? You haven’t said anything about him. Do you see him often?”

A shiver ran down my spine. For a brief moment, the panic was overwhelmed by fear.

My mother had always told me my father was a hot-headed, abusive man who took mercy on no one. According to her, the reason why I never saw him was that he was constantly at work, and I’d only ever see him if she had to call him because I was misbehaving. She told me stories of the broad-shouldered, angry man who came home every night complaining about coworkers and slamming silverware off the table in an outrage. It was why I had to keep my headset on at night. She didn’t want his screaming to wake me up. It was also why I had to remain on my best behavior and listen to every command she gave. She didn’t want him to have to discipline me. It would hurt, she said. 

As time went on, my fear of my father only grew. Each passing day made the brutish image of him in my head grow stronger and more frightening. Now, even the thought of standing face-to-face with him made me scared. Seeing him meant I’d done something wrong. Seeing him meant pain, and possibly even death, were on the horizon, and death was something I never wanted to face.

So, my father was my greatest fear. I could only pray I’d never have to see him.