Editor’s note: Mariangel Morales is features editor of Spotlight and moved here from Venezuela three years ago. She shares her thoughts regarding how coronavirus has changed her final year of high school. She is an Eli Lilly scholar who plans on attending Marian University in the fall.

Once you reach your senior year of high school, you can’t help but think you are almost there: You are almost out of high school and ready to go to college, enroll or work and start your life as an independent person.

 In my case, I thought that finally all the days that I had to stay late at night  to finish homework, study for exams or extracurricular activities were going to be worth it. I thought about being able to go to prom, graduation ceremony  and getting my diploma along with my friends. 

Now it seems that I will only have my diploma, since graduation and prom look more like fantasy than a reality. I am the type of student who didn’t have much trouble helping my teachers in the afternoons, receiving /imparting tutoring, or participating in club meetings /events. School is one of my favorite places.

With today’s news by our governor, it seems I may never be able to go to Ben Davis as a student again.

Everything I ever thought or dreamed of seemed more like a fantasy dream than a possible reality due to the arrival of the covid 19, also known as coronavirus. Schools have been closed, events suspended and people sent home so they can quarantine.

I know that it is for my own health and that of my family that drastic measures have been taken, and I also know that life is the most precious gift that we all have, and therefore we must value and care for it.

I also feel that for some reason my dream of graduation and all the events that go with it have been taken from my hands for the second time in my life. I know it is not the end of the world, but it is almost the end of my world.

When I immigrated from Venezuela a few years ago, I took refuge in school to cope with all the emotions that I felt. Not only had I left behind my home and most of my family, but I also left the friends and classmates I grew up with and studied with from kindergarten to ninth grade.

 When I migrated with my parents and sister, not only did I miss the opportunity to be with my loved ones, but I also lost the opportunity to graduate with them.

I had been dreaming about graduating with them for several years. I had even thought about the celebrations and events that we would organize before and after the big day. Therefore, when I saw that dream being realized through a photograph and without me, my heart broke into a thousand pieces.

Shortly after, I learned that not everything was bad.

When I came here I had many opportunities for learning and personal growth that I would never have been able to have in my native country. Also, now I had many classmates and new friends with whom I could graduate. But it seems that now fate wants to make the same cruel joke to me.

I was hoping to go back to school soon, to be able to choose my prom dress and plan with my friends what to wear for graduation. Now that and other school events that had been already planned have gone to the dumpster.

I feel sad and disappointed, thinking that most likely I will get my diploma in the mail. I know our township will try to not let that happen so I will wait and see.

After all, most students work hard to be able to hold the diploma and say “I did it” on graduation day.

 My only consolation is that my family is healthy and that I am still able to go to college. On the other hand, all the plans I had have changed. Now I understand why my grandmother used to say “No se pueden contar los pollitos antes de nacer” (chicks cannot be counted before hatching), since your future can be different from your present and different from your past. However, there is nothing you can do to change it. 

Although I don’t have the same mood as before, I still plan to finish my school year with good grades and go to college in the fall. I know it has not been easy for anyone, since now more than ever there will be obstacles for everyone, but what I know is that I can strive to overcome them and support those who need it.

I have learned that I can no longer plan too much, and that the best I can do is live each day and give my best in this course.